“With A Little Help From My Friends”

I am grateful for wise, wonderful and warm friends! I wanted to share a bit of recent synchronicity because it continues to be so significant for me. As some of you know I have taken new steps in this last year and have started a new adventure after working for years at a large cancer hospital. At times I experience doubt and worry, fear and even sometimes a bit of “oh my” with trying to do what I want but having to learn some of the technological challenges to make my vision a reality. In the course of two weeks I spoke with four friends, all who have had their own experiences with cancer. One friend spoke of how when entering a hospital room to visit someone she thinks she has PTSD and is finding that several years out from her cancer she is still processing all that she has been through.  She finds it difficult to talk to folks about this experience. Another friend many years out from her cancer treatment found herself disappointedly unsettled when she had to have a biopsy to check out a health concern.  She has over the years participated in and benefitted from many modalities that have given her a sense of balance after experiencing cancer as a young mom and thought she had conquered that old sense of fear that raised it’s ugly, scary head.  Another friend just about two years out and feeling like things have “normalized” after her being very proactive about problems she was having and seeking help agreed that it would have been very helpful if her doctor had let her know that yes, healing and finding that balance after cancer takes time…. years…and seeking out help can be huge.  And oh yeah, if they would talk about sexual issues! The last synchronicity was a blog post from a wonderful young woman who I feel lucky to know. Alison wrote a very touching post on her third cancer anniversary. 

Ideally good friends support us, understand us, love us but also challenge us! They help us to navigate difficult terrain. I think most folks would agree that during cancer and after cancer having someone in your life who really gets what you are experiencing can mean so very much.  I also know that many people do not have people that they can talk to about their cancer concerns. Social support as well as emotional support provided to men and women who are in treatment and who have finished treatment aids healing! And yes, for many this can be a huge challenge. Some people have access to social and emotional support, economic resources, nutrition and a variety of other resources and some do not. I do know there are a lot of resources that can be helpful to navigate the way! As my friends once again shared with me, there is a lot that can get stirred up when you have had cancer! These conversations reminded me and supported me in pursuing the passion, the desire and the expertise I have to help folks find resources to navigate their way during and after cancer. I know that my friends are not alone in their experiences and continue to be my teachers.

Another friend let me know that yes, she had been a bit sad to think that all that I had to offer “patients” was being lost after I left my job and thus was happy to hear about my plans to offer my services to people touched by cancer and caregivers. I appreciate the support provided by these friends and I know their experiences have guided me, have helped me to become better at what I do. I consider these little synchronicities to be an affirming life event. I find myself savoring “little” events like these. Sometimes it can even seem a little magical when people show up when you need them!

Enjoy the little things in life for someday you will realize they were the big things.

Each of my friend’s stories is different and I know each of them has chosen an individual approach to what has helped them to heal.  I am honored to talk with them, support them, process with them and learn from them about the challenges they face.  I would be honored to speak with you about your challenges.  I do feel very fortunate to have learned from so many people across the years, wonderful professionals and those whose lives have been touched by cancer. I know too, that the steps when one is living with cancer and after cancer treatment have to be specific to you, to your particular situation and your particular challenges.  Do you know what steps might be most helpful to you?  As one of the dear friends said “It's really about equanimity, calm, steadiness, soundness, feeling solid, strong, durable.” Oh but arriving there might be really hard! If you are finding that you are unsure about the steps to help you find a sense of calm or a sense of steadiness after cancer has entered your life consider contacting me for a free discovery call so we can talk about what steps may be of benefit to you.

So thanks dear friends who gave me a boost in my day, in my motivations and in my awareness and a little push to figure out new stuff like technology and websites!  Please do consider leaving a comment and let me know what topics you would like to see covered in blog post. Thanks for sharing my blog if you are so inclined!  What are you thankful for today? Take a moment and think of three things or three people.  If you are finding that hard to do, give some thought to what you would like your circles of support to look like. Sometimes it is giving thought to what isn’t going the way you want that helps you decide how to begin to take the steps towards what you want!

Take care,